Words that encourage are (1) inspired by love, and (2) directed toward fear

And only when I am freed from the fear of losing a relationship will my motivation approach the reality of love.

Notice the paradox; to love a person, I must be willing to lose my relationship with him. Dependently holding onto anyone or anything but God is, in its final form, idolatry. Idolatry is at root a fear of the wrong god.